Thots and Feels

Otherwise known as Thoughts and Feelings. I am a firm believer that our "thoughts", that is our internal dialog with ourselves is a determining factor in how we Feel. Here is the sticky part...unless you monitor your own internal dialog your thoughts may be spawning a whole host of feelings that you are unaware of until they manifest as "felt".

Interesting word -- "manifest". One of its meanings is to demonstrate -- 'implies showing by action or by display of feeling'. So, our internal dialog goes from inside our head as a stream of thoughts to outside our head into the real world.

Example: Angry thoughts Lead to Angry feelings which manifest as Angry actions. Left unmonitored and unchecked everybody begins to notice we are having a bad day or causing a bad day for others.

Over the past 6 months (as of this writing) I have been involved in a very challenging course of study to become a professional gunsmith. At the same time, I have been working to get my gunsmithing business set up so that when I graduate (presently) the business will be ready to go.

During this time, I stared feeling anxiety about the whole situation. Generally I don't feel anxious about anything. This was a new "feel". Elevated heart beat, shallow breathing, feeling of constriction in the chest, thoughts of impending doom and dark, dark outcomes.

Rather than reach for the bottle of XANAX , (which I don't have access to and would spawn a whole new chain of events), I decided to find out where these feelings were coming from. Remember it all begins with our thoughts, our self-talk, our internal dialog. What the hell was I telling myself that was manifesting these feelings?

So Step One is to realize that you are responsible for what you are telling yourself.

So I sat right down and wrote myself a letter. Well not really a letter but more of a Q&A session with myself. I have discovered that the beauty of the human mind is that if you ask it "WHY" it will provide an answer. It may not be an answer you like, or even one that is true, but you will get an answer.

So Step Two is ask yourself "Why -------" fill in the blank. Write your answer down or remember it somehow. Examples: Why are you anxious? Why are you avoiding tasks your need to complete? Why are you procrastinating?(My personal favorite).

Do you ever get the sense that your mind doesn't like being interrogated? It kind of likes to go with the flow or rely on old thoughts and neurological patterns to respond to the outside world. Sometimes you have to dig a little. Keep asking until you get an answer that feels true.

So Step Three is to iterate your questions: Who, What, Where, How, Why. Until an answer comes. It's kind of like that game show where they always say...."Is that your final answer??"

Now the fun part happens. You get to test your answer against your feelings. Testing the possible answer against your feelings can involve a number of possible outcomes:

• The Eureka Moment: Aha! I am feeling anxious because I have a fear of failure.

• The "stressed out" realization: Man I am doing so much I need to take some time for myself to relax and de-stress. Then I will feel better. (positive affirmation)

• The "What's the worst thing that could happen?" question: Figure out what is the worst thing that could happen and determine if it is really as big a deal as you feel it is. If you can accept "the worst thing happening" fear and anxiety should melt away.

• An alternative to the "Worst thing that can happen" realization is the "Is this going to kill me" possibility. If the answer is NO, then put it in perspective

• Lastly is the "How can I do this differently" perspective. Your actions up to this point have caused the anxiety. What can I do differently?

So Step Four is to apply the answer(s) to your questions to the feelings. By doing that you engage your logical processor and get out of emotional responses. It also asserts that you now have control and are not ruled by your emotions.

If you are a person with Faith, then prayer can help. Not so much for taking away the source of anxiety. You behaved yourself into that situation. Prayer can give you insights into the source of your anxiety and how to get out of it.

So, remember the sequence:

Thots --->Feelings--->Actions

TTFN