So here I am.

Just updated the picture with something more accurate and recent.  There is a passage from a bit that my favorite comedian George Carlin, is famous for.  I think it does an excellent job describing me. I changed it a bit.

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I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-
modern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and
downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of
upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give
you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

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I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-
hearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database, my database
is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m
on-point, on-task and on-message.  I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. 
 

A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. 
A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. 
I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk,rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. 
A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic.

 

But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver.
My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its
own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch no sports! I’m gender
specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

 

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane.
I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized,
hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-
cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped,
vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

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I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard
to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and
movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the
pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in,
there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!"

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---TTFN

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